Last week's Bible study was about joy. Given our current circumstances I put off doing the study. I just didn't want to hear it (sometimes we all enjoy our little pity parties, don't we?). However, I finally decided if I planned on going to the meeting I should be prepared. So, one night, that preparation prompted D. & I to talk at length about being more open & receptive to what God might be doing through this trial. We decided there was a purpose for our struggles--not just that God was allowing us to go through this but that He is doing it to us. At first it sounded cruel, but not when we took the perspective of waiting & looking forward to what we'd discover about God in the midst of it (thinking of it as God's teaching opportunity).Rather than having a spiritual tantrum over the discipline, we want to receive it --to accept it with the understanding God loves us and wants to grow us in our maturity & faith in Him. So, no more complaining or whining. We're going to try praising & thanking God instead. Not that we think it will change the outcome or the timing of our restoration, but because it will make for a more joyful demeanor on our part.
That being said, on the way to Bible study the morning after that discussion I turned to D. and reminded him of our decision to make more of an effort to adjust our attitudes about our situation--to be thankful for what we DO have & for what God has already provided. And here's what happened when I got out of the car:
I sat down at my table at Bible study and noticed a large pile of gift cards. I thought maybe I'd missed something--that I didn't get an email or didn't hear an announcement to bring one. Then, one of the women said they were all for me! I was in shock--in total disbelief. I think I said, "Are you kidding me?" (she wasn't). Which, thinking about it now was probably kinda rude (sorry). I did NOT see that coming! I started to cry...then excused myself from the table & left the room. A strange reaction, I know, but I honestly didn't know how to receive a gift of such magnitude. I was genuinely overwhelmed. As Beth Moore would say, "I don't have a file for that!" I've never been in the position to receive such generous gifts from so many people all at once! I hope none of them were offended by my reaction. After I walked to the restroom to get a tissue & "sucked it up" (so I wouldn't continue to cry in front of everyone) I went back to the table & said, "thank you." I am very, VERY thankful for all they gave.
We fully recognize God's hand in the blessing of those gift cards, checks & food...and His timing in giving them to us through the women in my Bible study. The gifts came the day after we professed a willingness to be grateful instead of unappreciative & to look for the blessing in our trial.
I hope someday D. & I can be in the position to do the same for someone else in need.
