Grace: "freely given, unmerited favor or love"
(Read: giving someone something nice when they don't deserve it)
Mercy: "compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender"
(Read: NOT giving someone the punishment they DO deserve)
We recently had an opportunity to extend both grace and mercy to some people we regret ever allowing into our lives. It's not an easy thing to do. We fought every bit of our human nature to make it possible. We are disgusted at the type of people they turned out to be, but even more, we are saddened by their horrific behavior. It's discouraging when people display no regret after intentionally hurting others and even more disappointing when those same people refuse to take responsibility for their actions. The whole ordeal was saddening. It made us want to cry and throw up all in the same moment.
But we realized it was unfair of us to expect them to live up to our standards. We knew from the beginning they were incapable of doing it, but we took the risk with the hope they would try. We've learned our lesson about that now.
During the meeting we had, these people proved, not only to us but to the other people present, how disrespectful and dishonorable they truly are. They were rude and tactless. However, despite their unfortunate choices, we took the opportunity to practice kindness, graciousness and generosity--and extended a kind of love to them that everyone in the room knew they didn't deserve.
We are thankful that God knows the hearts of everyone, and that regardless of what those people took from us, He is a God of justice and peace.
We are thankful to be released from the burden they placed on us and will be sure to seek God's wisdom before entering into similar relationships in the future.
2 comments:
I totally feel that we are in a similar predicament with friends. We need to meet with them, but i'd rather just wash my hands of them. I want to respond to them in a Godly way, however, I am in fear of being weak and trampled on rather than meak and show God's grace and mercy. I am praying God will turn my heart around. Why do friendships have to get harder as we grow older!?
We were pondering that, and we think that as we get older we get more prideful and self-righteous. Everyone thinks they are right and unwilling to humbling look and discuss the situation and be willing to be wrong. We are feeling like, in the end, it's always Jonathan and I who are willing to bend and say sorry.
ugh.. sorry, i could keep writing.... :) Glad to see we're not the only ones going thru this...
I'm sorry to hear you've been through something similar. Unfortunately, the relationship we had with these people was never a friendship. Let's call it a business-type relationship. And we've never avoided confrontation, but we often extended more grace than we felt necessary. The meeting we had gave everyone an opportunity to discuss his/her views on the situation, unfortunately the other party wasn't willing to step up and take responsibility for what they'd done. There was no validity to their claims, but we did what we felt God wanted us to do. Now that we're rid of them, it feels SOOO good. Carrying the weight of a toxic relationship with people who are unwilling to attempt maturity is exhausting! Thank the Lord for peace in the situation. I'll pray for peace in yours, too.
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