Learning

Words/Phrases the youngest has said for the first time this week:
1. Gabba-Gabba
2. Whoops!
3. Gum

Things we've discovered this week:
1. There's a tomato plant growing in the middle of our back lawn.
2. The youngest had a flea in her diaper (stray cat that visits got sprayed right after this discovery)
3. The cat we thought was a stray actually belongs to one of our neighbors. Her name is Princess (perfect for our kids).
4. The youngest can & will chew gum! I'll try to get a picture of this up soon.
5. The oldest can flip over the bar at gymnastics without assistance! (VERY proud parents here)

Things I've forgotten about this week:
1. The water filling the tub for the youngest's bath (D. found it and turned it off before it was full enough to spill over onto the floor)
2. My grilled cheese cooking on the skillet. (so sad. why do I mess up the easiest things to make?)
3. The water filling the pool in the back yard. D. wasn't home this time, so it DID spill over. Benefit: I didn't have to water that part of the lawn today!
There's more, too, but guess what? I can't remember! My brain is mush lately.
But I DID remember to include some cute pics!

Family Time

We went to the zoo...

A little trip...

The girls and I went on a weekend trip to visit friends and volunteer for a cancer foundation fundraiser. The weather was beautiful. We played on the golf course (the girls also saw some ducks swimming in the pond), swam in the pool and had a nice visit. E. even found her belly button while we were there!

Why we've been giggling since yesterday morning:

D's sister played an April Fools joke on him that he & I decided to play on most of our friends yesterday. Here's the text message we sent out:
"Do you know a Mr. Behr? He asked me to have you give him a call at 415.753.7080."
(that is the number to the SF Zoo!) Hahahahaha! Get it? Mr. Behr= Mr. Bear (say it out loud)! Oh my goodness--we've been laughing nonstop because EVERYONE fell for it. Tee-hee!

The children are multi-colored and smell like hard-boiled eggs & vinegar

Because we dyed eggs today! Uncle J & Miss Steffie brought the fun and we all indulged in an early Easter festivity (Miss Steffie's were the prettiest, but I think our youngest had the most fun!). And, yes, we used Christmas cups to dye Easter eggs--it's what we had, okay?

Grace

Grace: "freely given, unmerited favor or love"
(Read: giving someone something nice when they don't deserve it)
Mercy: "compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender"
(Read: NOT giving someone the punishment they DO deserve)

We recently had an opportunity to extend both grace and mercy to some people we regret ever allowing into our lives. It's not an easy thing to do. We fought every bit of our human nature to make it possible. We are disgusted at the type of people they turned out to be, but even more, we are saddened by their horrific behavior. It's discouraging when people display no regret after intentionally hurting others and even more disappointing when those same people refuse to take responsibility for their actions. The whole ordeal was saddening. It made us want to cry and throw up all in the same moment.
But we realized it was unfair of us to expect them to live up to our standards. We knew from the beginning they were incapable of doing it, but we took the risk with the hope they would try. We've learned our lesson about that now.
During the meeting we had, these people proved, not only to us but to the other people present, how disrespectful and dishonorable they truly are. They were rude and tactless. However, despite their unfortunate choices, we took the opportunity to practice kindness, graciousness and generosity--and extended a kind of love to them that everyone in the room knew they didn't deserve.
We are thankful that God knows the hearts of everyone, and that regardless of what those people took from us, He is a God of justice and peace.
We are thankful to be released from the burden they placed on us and will be sure to seek God's wisdom before entering into similar relationships in the future.

How We Spent Our Day

Motrin & Tylenol

Yay for childrens fever meds! Our youngest had a fever (about 102) last weekend. Yesterday our oldest came down with one at 102.9! Steady doses of motrin & tylenol eventually brought it down to a non-mommy-freaking-out temp by morning.
Also...I'm not sure I'll ever be able to go in the garage again. Last night I opened the door, turned on the light & a rat scurried past my feet! I always wondered what I'd do in a situation like that. Now I know: I scream "OH MY GOSH THAT'S A RAT!" and do a funny little dance in my (bare) feet to avoid actually touching it. I think I should get points for not swearing. I haven't figured out how to do laundry without going into the garage (where the washing machine & dryer are) yet, though...

It Never Fails.

Whatever the week's Bible study topic is, that's what I'll be struggling with.
Last week was all about not being anxious about anything. Right. Okay, so after doing the study I know it IS possible. Just challenging for control freaks with trust issues...and during an incredibly difficult business week. (taking a slow, deep breath)
This weeks study? Capturing every thought and, if it's no good, making a conscious effort to think about something better. HOW?! Well, thankfully that's in the study too. Of course, when the week starts with issues which immediately evoke negative thoughts for me, all I learned from the study went right out the window.
I've gone back to repeating Philippians 4 to myself throughout the day. Amazing how much that helps. This Bible study is definitely what I needed this year(even as convicting as it is).

Would You Be Happy If People Renting Your House Left It Looking Like This?

The New Year So Far

E's bday went off great. It was a double party with Bompa. I started a new job at the beginning of the month. I now tutor students in ESL everyday for a few hours. AND...D got two job offers. He chose the company that will work around his school schedule because...he also got into the fire academy!

The Next Big Thing

We had the best Christmas EVER! The girls had a fantastic day playing with their new toys (Mamaw & Bompa bought them pretty much everything they wanted!) and we had a blast playing wii! Couldn't have had a better day.
And now our focus shifts to the next big deal event in our family: E's 1st birthday!! Yay!!

K-Designers

A few weeks ago the pastor of care ministries at our church called saying there was a local business wanting to bless a family in our community & he wanted to know if it would be okay to give them our names! He said they would want to know about our needs & would most likely help with things like groceries & things for the girls. We were touched he'd think of us and, not wanting to turn down potential blessing, gave permission. The next day a woman from the company called... She asked about our needs AND our Christmas wish lists! I was caught off-guard. We had decided not to buy presents this year. We made a short wish list at the request of our extended family and bought a few things for the girls' stockings, but, because our focus has totally been on meeting our basic needs month-to-month, hadn't really given thought to what we might want. So I told the lady what the girls are into (princesses, music, etc.) & figured she wanted a longer list so they had more to choose from. I thanked her for even offering to help & felt blessed to know they wanted to do something nice for us. She told me they would be at our house the afternoon of the 23rd. Yesterday.
They knocked on our door at 2pm. The woman who contacted me walked in with arms full of wrapped presents! We were delighted. Then a man walked in with huge bags full of MORE wrapped presents! We were shocked! THEN, he says, "oh wait--there's one more thing," goes out to the porch & wheels in a brand new mountain bike for D! We were astonished! THENNN they handed me & D each an envelope & asked us to open them right away. Mine was a beautiful card signed by each person at the company...with more-than-sizeable gift cards to Safeway & Target! I started to cry. Those gift cards ensure we can now buy meat & fresh vegetables, groceries for the month. What a tremendous blessing. It was D's turn to open his envelope. Inside was a letter & invoice: they bought new tires for our car!! I was already crying, but D. started to cry too. We couldn't say "thank you" enough. We were more than thankful. Our car's tires are bald. We've been concerned about the issue of safety for some time but just didn't have the funds to do anything about it. Now all we have to do is call the tire company one day ahead to make an appointment & we'll get new tires! We hugged them and repeated how thankful we were and how much we appreciate everything they've done for our family. We were not expecting so much & would have been pleased with even just one gift. We were completely blown away by their generosity. We are also excited about having gifts to open at our house Christmas morning! Even today, the day after, we are still looking under our tree & saying, "wow" & "oh my gosh" because we're still in disbelief that just happened. We will be forever grateful to K-Designers for what they've given to us.
We truly believe God sent them to us & it strengthens our faith in His provision to have experienced such an outpouring of generosity.

End of the Year

Holy schmoly it's been a long time since I updated this thing! Ooops. Sorry about that. Well...
D. completed his emt class, passed all the tests & as soon as he takes the national registry test (next monday) he can begin applying for emt positions!

We have Christmas cards ordered...probably will mail them in a few days.

Got state medical coverage for Z, still waiting on approval for E.

Our renters gave us 30 days notice. They move out Jan 15th (they bought the house next door!).

We've spoken to our mortgage lender and are staring foreclosure in the face.

Ouch!

Sunday night we went to some friends' house for dinner. Just after we all sat down to dig in, our oldest fell out of her chair while holding a heavy-bottom glass. The glass landed on her pinky finger & shattered, cutting her a little but also popping the base of her fingernail (where the cuticle is) out of the skin! We took her to the doctor yesterday and he removed the rest of her fingernail--an ordeal I never wish to repeat. I'll spare you the horrible details...just know it was traumatizing for all of us.

Joy & Blessing

Last week's Bible study was about joy. Given our current circumstances I put off doing the study. I just didn't want to hear it (sometimes we all enjoy our little pity parties, don't we?). However, I finally decided if I planned on going to the meeting I should be prepared. So, one night, that preparation prompted D. & I to talk at length about being more open & receptive to what God might be doing through this trial. We decided there was a purpose for our struggles--not just that God was allowing us to go through this but that He is doing it to us. At first it sounded cruel, but not when we took the perspective of waiting & looking forward to what we'd discover about God in the midst of it (thinking of it as God's teaching opportunity).Rather than having a spiritual tantrum over the discipline, we want to receive it --to accept it with the understanding God loves us and wants to grow us in our maturity & faith in Him. So, no more complaining or whining. We're going to try praising & thanking God instead. Not that we think it will change the outcome or the timing of our restoration, but because it will make for a more joyful demeanor on our part.
That being said, on the way to Bible study the morning after that discussion I turned to D. and reminded him of our decision to make more of an effort to adjust our attitudes about our situation--to be thankful for what we DO have & for what God has already provided. And here's what happened when I got out of the car:

I sat down at my table at Bible study and noticed a large pile of gift cards. I thought maybe I'd missed something--that I didn't get an email or didn't hear an announcement to bring one. Then, one of the women said they were all for me! I was in shock--in total disbelief. I think I said, "Are you kidding me?" (she wasn't). Which, thinking about it now was probably kinda rude (sorry). I did NOT see that coming! I started to cry...then excused myself from the table & left the room. A strange reaction, I know, but I honestly didn't know how to receive a gift of such magnitude. I was genuinely overwhelmed. As Beth Moore would say, "I don't have a file for that!" I've never been in the position to receive such generous gifts from so many people all at once! I hope none of them were offended by my reaction. After I walked to the restroom to get a tissue & "sucked it up" (so I wouldn't continue to cry in front of everyone) I went back to the table & said, "thank you." I am very, VERY thankful for all they gave.
We fully recognize God's hand in the blessing of those gift cards, checks & food...and His timing in giving them to us through the women in my Bible study. The gifts came the day after we professed a willingness to be grateful instead of unappreciative & to look for the blessing in our trial.
I hope someday D. & I can be in the position to do the same for someone else in need.

Do YOU know?

Quote of the month: "Did Chuck Norris need a reference? You either KNOW or you WILL know!" --Me

I think maybe I'm a little too aggressive in my heart sometimes. I'm often ready at a moment's notice to give someone a piece of my mind...
Or maybe I just like to pretend I'm tougher than I really am.
I go from thinking I really want to hurt some people (especially when they hurt my family) to feeling completely broken (that's when I put up the front).
My husband was laid off last week: for the second time this year. It's a difficult thing to stomach--especially because he doesn't deserve it. Seriously, we have both been physically ill from it. We are past the point of asking ourselves the "why" questions: (Why do bad things continue to happen to us? Why does God allow them to happen? Why do nice guys finish last? And why do we feel like we have always received the short end of the stick?).
We've moved on to: "Really, God? Really!?"
Depression, anxiety, shame...they're all too common for him in the past few years & it breaks my heart. I married a good man. A REALLY good man. He's a hard worker...and he works ONLY because he wants to provide for his family. He does it even when he doesn't want to. He does stinky jobs because they'll pay the bills. He even does the right thing by the people he works with even when they don't deserve it. He's also the most loyal person I've ever known. Loyal to his family, his friends, and his bosses. I admit, sometimes it baffles me: when others would get to the point of burning a bridge he continues to hope for the best. I honestly cannot understand why he continues to get treated so badly at work. And I absolutely hate that he feels like a failure.
I have been learning that stress & anger are choices. But boy is it hard not to choose them when stuff like this happens. I know eventually we will be given another opportunity for income and renewed hope. But right now it's a really big struggle. We mostly worry about our kids: we want to be sure they'll have enough to eat and can visit the doctor if/when they need to.
I'm trying to remain hopeful. I go to MOPS & Bible study where I am surrounded & loved by some of the most supportive, beautiful women. They have prayed for me, given generously & unexpectedly to me and given me a place to feel comfortable & safe-- it is a welcome break from life's recent let-down. I am so thankful for those women. I am thankful, also, for my parents, who not only buy most of our groceries, diapers & clothing, but provide counsel...and childcare! And I am also thankful for our friends who have given my husband a few side jobs this week.
I'm going to try to memorize more verses & repeat them throughout my day. I think that'll help my attitude...and probably keep some people from "KNOW"ing more about me! :-)

is it September already?

I just realized it's been months since I last updated this page! Yikes! I apologize for putting this off for so long.
Quick recap of the summer: As a family we spent a few days in Arizona and took several trips to the zoo. Our oldest also went to 2 wks. of VBS and had weekly gymnastics, swim lessons & art classes! Oh yeah--and we planted a garden together & grew tomatoes, zuchini, cucumbers, strawberries & corn!
Our weeks are full this fall, too!
Our oldest also started attending a pre-K class (that means next year is Kindergarten!) and continues to take gymnastics. Our youngest's 7th tooth broke through last week! She's a mellow teether: no crankiness, crying or loss of sleep...just a lot of drool. She's too long for her 9 mo. jammies & most 9 mo. onesies and....(drumroll, please)...she will take a bottle now! I joined a MOPS group for the year and am continuing to attend a young moms Bible study at church. D. is still working for Q & A and intends to get recertified as an EMT this fall & go to the fire academy in January (please pray about that for us).
So that's the latest!

story time

Convo 1 (with Mamaw)
Z: "They put Jesus in a tomb, you know."
M: "Yeah, I know."
Z: "but he didn't stay dead."

Convo 2 (with a friend)
Z: "Did you know Jesus is coming back?"
F: "When?"
Z: "I don't know, but he's takin' a long time!"

It's little conversations like these that bless my heart.

Some scary stuff, Some new stuff

Today we went to the beach in Half Moon Bay for D's mom's birthday. The girls slept during the drive out, so everyone was in good spirits when we arrived. We got out, unpacked, set up equipment/lunch... then the baby started to wail. I thought she was just super hungry (it WAS her lunch time). She wouldn't eat. Not like her at all. I freaked. She was freaking. D (my super-duper, wonderful, level-headed husband) stepped in to calm us both down, even forgoing lunch (huge sacrifice for this guy) to help. We ended up going back to the car to see if that would help her settle down. Nope. Still screaming. We thought she was in pain or suddenly very sick. So we packed everything up, called the doctor & headed home. She slept on the way back, but still wouldn't eat when we got home, so the doctor suggested we take her to the ER to prevent dehydration. After about 15 minutes in the ER she decided she would go ahead & nurse! She ate like nothing was ever wrong, sat up & smiled. We have no idea what happened. Our best guess (as well as the doctor's) is she had stimulus overload at the beach.
So that was the scary stuff. Here's the new stuff: I got a great pic of my rock-star hubby.